03 Mei 2021 12:48 door Anoniem304
Waarom Anna niet weg 'kan'
Why has Anna Duggar stayed with Josh and continued to have children with a confirmed child molester? My thoughts as a Duggar cult insider......
The Duggar family is the poster family for a homeschool, patriarchal, fundamentalist cult called the Advanced Training Institute (ATI) created by a man named Bill Gothard (BG). My family was involved with ATI during the same years that the Duggar family was and I used to hang out with the Duggar daughters in our small social circles.
I made my escape from ATI in 2015 after I came to the realization that I had been sexually groomed by BG as a minor. I soon joined a lawsuit against BG with 18 fellow victims with similar allegations and to this day I have been shunned by the community due to speaking out.
Let me explain some of the very specific teachings of ATI in hopes that you will understand exactly why the Duggar family has handled the Josh situation they way they have, and why Anna has continued to stay by his side and continued to birth his children.
1. The word “abuse” does not exist in ATI. When I came forward that I had been sexually molested as a child by my own father, it was not called abuse within my ATI circles, it was called being “inappropriate”. ATI followers are told that the way secular, professional therapists and the way the government handles abuse is bad. They are taught that sexual abuse is, more than anything, a sin, and therefore it must be handled within the church. Licensed professional therapist are considered dangerous, and so you are only allowed to seek Christian counseling. This is why when Josh first told his parents as a teenager that he was molesting his younger sisters, he was sent away to an ATI camp as therapy. Abuse is always dealt within the system.
2. ATI followers are taught to be thankful for abuse. I was told by Bill Gothard himself when he found out that I had been molested by my father that I needed to write my father letter THANKING him for molesting me, because it had made me spiritually stronger. Emotional, sexual, physical abuse are considered badges of honor within the system. There is no such thing as depression, anxiety, trauma response, or PTSD, and if you are dealing with symptoms of any of those then you are told you are not trusting God. This is what the Duggar daughters would have been taught regarding the abuse they experienced from their brother.
3. ATI followers are taught something called “The Power of Spoken Blessing”. If you are being abused by someone, you are not to confront them or seek help, but you are to pray a prayer that God would bless that person with the attributes they are missing. Example: “God please bless this person with patience, and kindness.” Again, most of the responsibility in dealing with abuse situations is placed on the victim.
4. ATI followers are taught that homeschooling is the only Godly way to educate your children. You are taught that public schools are dangerous and evil and that if you send your children to public school they will reject God. If Anna Duggar were to separate or divorce from her child-molesting husband, she would have to face the reality of putting her children in a public school while she went to work. This is *unimaginably terrifying* for an ATI woman, for she is taught this will destroy her children’s lives.
5. ATI women are taught that their calling in life by God is to be a stay at home mom and homemaker. ATI women are taught that if they seek higher education, or seek any employment outside of the home, they will be open to spiritual attacks from Satan, and will more than likely be raped by a random attacker or one of their children might die. Women are told they must live in a home under the authority of a man. Single women must live in heir father’s home until the authority has been “transferred” to their husband in a marriage ceremony. If Anna Duggar were to divorce and then live in her own home without the presence of an older male to protect her, she has been taught she would be open to attacks from Satan, and God might allow her to be raped, or murdered by an intruder as punishment for being out of submission of male authority. Yes, ATI women are literally taught that living under the authority of a male will offer them **guaranteed** divine protection. (That’s an exact quote from ATI material).
6. ATI followers are taught birth control is a sin. They are taught that “God opens and closes the womb”, and that preventing a pregnancy in ANY way, shape, or form, is not trusting God. This means, couples are not even allowed to consider natural family planning, for choosing to abstain from sex when the female is most fertile would mean you are not trusting God. Why has Anna continued to have children with Josh? Because she has been taught to believe she LITERALLY does not have a choice.
7. Speaking of sex, ATI women are taught that it is a sin to refuse your husband sex. They are taught that men have an uncontrollable sex drive, and that if a woman was to deny their husband at any time, this could cause their husband to “stumble” and possibly have an affair, or develop a porn addiction. Women are taught they are at fault for their husband cheating on them because it wouldn’t have happened it they had given him enough sex (and of course the man gets to decide what ‘enough’ looks like).
8. ATI followers are taught to practice shunning. When you are a part of ATI, you live in a bubble. You are taught that the outside world is dangerous and that you shouldn’t form relationships with anyone that does not conform to the same belief system taught by ATI. You are also taught not have any kind of relationship with people who have “gone astray”, and have left the belief system, INCLUDING FAMILY. If Anna Duggar were to leave, she would have no one to help her. She has no life outside of the fundamentalist word. She would not just be walking away from a marriage, she would be walking away from her entire community, her entire life, her entire culture. The system is designed to keep you in the bubble out of fear.
So there you are. Why has Anna Duggar stayed? Because she been programmed to believe she doesn't have the choice to leave. Why have the Duggar's continued to whitewash Josh’s actions? Because they have been taught that what he did was “inappropriate” and “a mistake” but nonetheless redeemable by God. They have been taught to deal with Josh’s problems privately, within ATI churches, and we all know how horrible the church is at properly handling abuse.
Anna Duggar does not need your condemnation right now. She does not need criticism for staying with Josh. She should not be told that she’s getting what she asked for because she choose to stay. She is a victim of a system designed to trap women. She needs our support. She needs our love. She needs brave people coming forward and telling her they will do whatever it takes to help her get out.
Please share this post. It’s time the world understand that the Duggar’s lifestyle of “old fashioned family values” is not one to be admired. It is a dangerous cult, that harbors and protect abusers and blames and shames victims.
~ Emily Elizabeth Anderson